Rad World vs The New Media Buddy Christ
6/20/2007 9:49 PM
My recent attendance to the "First Suburban Church of the Immaculate Lawn" has sent your dear writer into a quandary. A spiritual dissonance to the spiritual distant if you will. My spirituality wavers from devout-occasional church going Lutheran to skeptical agnostic. The agnostic even drops to atheist on some days. I think I count myself as agnostic “just in case”. That way when final jeopardy comes I can hedge my bet with “but I’m agnostic”. Any faith…Judaism, Buddhism, Pagan…Say hey, holy cow, RAD WINS, RAD WINS!!! When I’m feeling Christian…I like it old school. I like the hymns of joyousness ground down to the mumble of a funeral dirge…lacking any soul or hope. Back to attending the “Local Church of the 5 minute Salvation” I was there for a confirmation. Being on an “away” church my ire, as it is often want to do, was rising. My Jesus sense was tingling.

New churches, they have whole new swing and vibe that I can’t be part of. There’s a casualness coupled with business savvy and marketing scheme that should be stopped. However, like Paris Hilton, its here to stay. And as much as I love a good marketing scheme (Transformers, July 4th in a theater near you…get the extra value mug, buy the toy and get Optimus “Primed” for July 4th!) I sneer at these new “churches”. The new churches aren’t cathedrals as much as they are stadiums with the big screens and sound systems to match. Don’t get me wrong…I love churches. When traveling one of the first places I check out are its churches. My favorite building in the world is St. Paul’s in London; I visit it each time I’m there. It would be like going to Disney and NOT going on Pirates of the Caribbean. To me these places were built with devotion and a purpose higher than merely giving shelter. Taking decades and sometimes centuries to complete. I don’t mean just the “cathedrals” either. I have visted small, one room churches on the prairie and felt the same sense of devotion as I have in Notre Dame or Santa Croce. But something has happened over the years the “place” has become a “space. The”new” churches have learned their lessons well however they learned them from the business school and Super Bowl commercials. They are out not to appeal to a faith or those in need as much as they are to appeal to the masses. By “masses” I mean the suburban horde with pockets filled with disposable cash. Perhaps I have fallen prey to the “get off my lawn” crowd. The church I was raised in was about long sermons and passages from the Bible that Jerry Falwell would be hard pressed to find. If you were lucky you’d get out in time to see All Star wrestling. You wore clothes that never had the words “comfort” associated with them. And your parents looked even more uncomfortable. My mom once explained it to me…”we’re not here to be comfortable. We’re here to give thanks and be respectful to God.” For as many times that I ruffled at her explanations and reasons. To me it made sense and I bought it. I guess I still do.

But now…the hymns are Proxima projected up on Power Point presentations with “Successories” pictures as the background. The soloists are auditioning for Vatican Idol and their vocals soar past the congregation as they try to sing along. As the confirmation progressed I snapped a few pictures I was nudged about offending the pastor. From what I saw the pastor would be more concerned about copyright infringement because the service was being covered by a 3 camera remote. “Any transmission or rebroadcast of this service without the expressed written consent of Father, Son or Holy Ghost is strictly prohibited and punishable with eternal damnation of your soul or maybe he’ll just turn your wife into a pillar of salt, he’s crazy like that.

Oh and get off my lawn.