Oscars 2007.... Part Deux
3/7/2007 9:45 PM
Okay round 2. I have been jetting off to Florida, worrying about the death of Captain America and Contemplating seeing Rush in Toronto, a wedding to plan, a bride to kill...I’m swamped.

But ladies and gents here I give you the Oscars…

In round one we saw an Over Enunciated Black Man capture my interest and Hollywood begin to glad hand themselves and tell the rest of America how to live.

8:12 They open the next hour with a sound effect choir bit it could be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. But the night IS still young.
8:14 Greg Kinnear and Steve Carrell present sound editing…I feel strangely vindicated because I thought they were hilarious before the “scene” ever caught on. Now…now they seem a little bit older.
Blood Diamond looks like Syriana in Africa. Syriana made my brain hurt until a friend told me “Its their fault for being incomprehensible!”
Letters from Iowa Jima wins and the co-winner looks like Captain Kangaroo.
8:17 The next award is an innocuous little award for sound mixing. Dreamgirls wins. The winner thanks his "Lover wife" which sends the audience and all of us watching into feeling of “ewwwww”.
8:21 Rachel Weiss and here eyebrows give away the Supporting actor. I think Arkin should win. and he did they cut to oscar that arkin put on stage….how arty\
8:25 Ellen Chats up Scorsese. She calls him Martin and indicates that she must be outer circle because she doesn’t call him Marty.
8:28 Cookies? Or a beer…meh, I spend the commercial debating it
8:30 Randy Newman and James Taylor play a song from Cars. I think it carries a mood and that mood is "go to sleep".
8:33 Melissa Etheridge sings the song for “Inconvenient Truth”. They do the Van Halen "Right Now" shtick. While Global Warming slogans appear as I look at the 11 inches of snow we’ve got in 24 hours.
8:36 Dicapprio and Al Gore take the stage. Brace yourself. Academy Awards has gone "green" again thank you Hollywood for telling us how to live. Gore like evil Keneval runs it up the ramp put stops just short of political suicide
8:40 I Still haven't decided if I want a cookie or not.
8:43 Cameron Diaz presents for animation. She was on Bob and Brian once (local radio show) and I then formed an opinion that she could be one of the dumbest people on the planet, George Miller wins for Happy Feet.
8:45 Speaking of stupid actors…Ben Affleck
8:49 Nicholson mugs for the camera for the 33rd time of the night
8:50 Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren presents for Best adapted screenplay. It’s the first award I care about. Departed wins.
Scorsese attempts to climb writer fails and sets up base camp on his belly.
Writer "Valium does work". Hanks and Mirren help the wheezing writer from stage
8:56 Commercial for Oprah and her $40 million school. Again I wonder why not 40 $1 million dollar schools. But I could go on and on with this one.
9:00 Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway present costume they show the costumes live. I like it.
I then realize what I'm missing from this years awards…lack of cleavage. Dammit! Where is Scarlet Johansen?
Some euro-man/woman wins for Marie Antoinette. They cut to Francis Ford Coppola who is the second fattest person at the awards after the wheezing writer of the departed