Aw Nuts!
3/11/2004 4:43 PM
Signs of spring are in the air...Robin taking flight...Brewers in spring training...and I sat on one of my nuts at work! Let me tell you tender reader. There is no greater pain to me. The problem usually happens when I wear shorts (which I prefer to wear from spring through late fall). I'll be sitting here entering reports, reviewing bills, dozing quietly in front of the monitor when there will be a small shift in the tectonic structure that is my ass. One of the "boys" will fall from alignment I shift back in seat. And before I can realize what’s happened my eyes grow wide, I will say something like "EEP!" and then I crumble across my keyboard like Steve Moore on the Vancouver ice. I can't lie about bravado...sometimes there are tears. Most times its a soft flurry of sobs saying "ohgodohgodohgodo". If Al Queada ever want to torture me they will sit me at a desk for a few hours in a pair of Dockers and order me to shift about in the chair. It happens twice and I'm telling them every secret I know about America. Now before some of you ladies oooo, ahh and trade knowing glances about "the goods". I haven't conducted a survey but from what I hear there’s nothing that fantastic going on down there that I NEED an overabundance of space. In fact I would be afraid to hear the results of any such caucus of the women who have been good enough to spend an evening with me. So do be careful this spring, gentleman, the nuts you save may be your own.