What’s my deal?
2/16/2004 2:23 PM
I don't know how many other people go through this. But I spend about 98% of life examining and reexamining myself..."But ahhh Jared" you say (for some reason your voice sounds like Jeff Goldblum)..."You spend about 6-8 hours of night sleeping...surely you don't do that then." Actually I do...I mostly replay the days past events and look in wonder at some of my decisions or how I have embarrassed. "What a sad, pathetic way to live" you say...Listen I don't need that kind of condescension, you pompous imaginary voice you. I realize the madness can't be far off because I am now having an argument with my inner dialogue. Lately, my latest kick is questioning, "what’s my deal?" with this or that thing I come across. For some reason I have certain animosities towards people, places or things...for really no reason at all. I just kind of dislike them. My bitching about them doesn't make them any better. And really what makes my opinion any more valued or carry any more weight than the next. So today I reach to become a better person by granting amnesty toward 3 things that I will no longer bad mouth or bitch about because really they haven't affected me in ANY negative way.

NASCAR...I still really don't get it. But that doesn't make it bad does it? And really if you boil any sport down they are all about as ridiculous as the next. That doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of the guy in in his astro-van with the #3 plastered across his window. The public at large will always be at the end of my needle. But the sport itself can't bear the fault of some of the dimwits that may be fans. In trying to understand the sport I watched the entire Daytona 500 this weekend...I did see the appeal of it. The coverage seemed much better for the non-indoctrinated fan than I remember. In the past I just kind of got lost after the first couple laps and then boredom would set in and I would flip to a Charlie Chan movie on WGN. So NASCAR...you and I are square. Please proceed with entertaining the masses.

Tom Cruise...Is it just jealously that has fueled his and my rivalry? But there are movies that he has made that I generally like and like him in them. If you must know...Rain Man, A Few Good Men, Jerry Maguire and Minority Report. Maybe its the smugness. That "oh gosh...I'm such and average multi -millionaire" smile he busts out when ever it suits him. My smile looks like I'm having a stroke. But when you boil it down...I have no reason to dislike the guy. He makes commercially viable product. He's doesn't do thinking man or comedy type of roles but so what. I don't know that he's ever really slung his star weight around. Why should I sleight him? Run along Tom...make your little movies and go and be successful. My wife is never going to forgive you for "Vanilla Sky" but that’s between you two. I shant make a face anymore when your name is mentioned or when some doof tells me what a great actor you are. You see...I'm maligning the doof and not you.


Jon Bon Jovi. In the story of my life if I wanted a punching bag Mr. Bon Jovi has been it. Well him and the Minnesota Vikings. Jealousy again? Perhaps…personally I don't know why. I have never heard a bad story about the guy. That he has mistreated someone or he's a real jag. Quite the contrary. I have heard many stories that he treats everyone well, is a good tipper and has been very beneficial to his community. I really don't know why dislike him? But I do....err...did. He has made some pretty vacuous songs? I profess to dislike his band the other day I noticed when a song was playing that I knew all the words with out even hesitating. If anything I should be more of a fan because through out high school and college the women that were good enough to "make out" with me...there was usually a Bon Jovi song in the background.

So like Amon Goethe in Schindlers List...NASCAR, Tom Cruise, John Bon Jovi..."I pardon you...".

How big of me…I know they’ll be relieved.