The first of many fumbles.
1/14/2004 3:26 PM
Back in 7th grade my church youth group used to have outings to the Skate University in Waukesha. How this got us closer to God is beyond me now as it was then. I'm sure it had to do with "fellowship"...I never was a big fan of that word and because of the church background I will always equate the word "fellowship with bad coffee, brownie squares, grim faced adults and boredom. Sorry side tracking we always went on a few skate outings. A small miracle occurred that day when a girl asked me to skate with her during a "couples" skate. This kind of thing didn't happen to me...I have spent my life as a perpetual wallflower. Knowing that the pain of rejection is a hundred fold compared to that of loneliness. Girls have never really asked me out...sure there have been one now and then that has been either bold or drunk enough. I don't think I can count the drunken rambling of Rita Ingersoll back in college. Who asked why I never asked her out in high school. Let me say this Rita was so far out of my league that we weren’t even playing the same sport. Side tracking again sorry. Back to Skate University where our story is already in progress. I went from pure joy that a girl asked me to dance to horror. Because in my accident-prone pre-teen body I did not have the ability to skate backwards and this was a "couples" skate. The guys HAD to skate backwards. I think it’s in the charter of the Skate University. We approached the rink and I had to confess to her that I didn't know how to skate backwards. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. The heart raced and I could feel my ears turning purple with embarrassment. She was very nice and said it was no problem she could do it. As we circled the rink time after time it was some of the most frightening moments of my life because I was consumed with the fear that I would topple on to her...ever ruining my non existent reputation with the ladies. I'm sure she looked into my eyes and saw nothing but pure terror. Thankfully the song ended we talked for a little while and she asked for my phone number. I gave it to her. She never called. I'm sure it is because I couldn't skate backwards. Her name was Susan. The song was "True" from Spandau Ballet.

The pang of 7th grade roller love.