HO-HO-HO! BOO-HOO-HOO!
12/18/2003 1:45 PM
Let me digress from the London journey with a thought for the holiday season.

Can the radios stations give it a rest on making listeners dreams (in big top 40 voice) "DREAMS COME TRUE!" I'm talking about WKTI here but I'm sure its taking place at every top 40 station across the country. I'm referring to the radio bits when some DJ comes on and reads some letter from some poor soul who's fallen down on their luck or they are having a rough time on the holidays. They are going to give them a few bucks or make sure the kids get presents. But let me tell how predatory these calls sound. You know they are praying that this poor person is going to fall apart into a blubbering, whimpering mess...Here is an typical example:

DJ(in booming harmonized processed voice): Mrs. Schmuck you wrote us a letter...
Mrs Schmuck:(sob)...Yes?
DJ: You're having a hard time this holiday season...
Mrs. Schmuck: Yeah(whimper)....oh yes.(sob)
DJ: That should be enough...but to add to the drama of the moment and since we're going to help out why don't you publicly nail yourself up on the wall and tell us about what’s happening...and if you could break down into tears at least twice....and try to keep it under 45 seconds.
Mrs. Schmuck: Well my husband is out of work and our savings were all lost in paying for our dogs brain tumor. We just don't know how we can aford presents for our 27 kids....oh god!....sob...sob...sob
DJ: I know it hurts...but I'm going to give you a chance to cry some more on the radio
Mrs. Schmuck: Oh thank yew...boohoohoo...sob...sob
DJ(with more production value): Mrs...Schmuck....we...here...at...WKTI feel your pain that’s why were going to get you some advertisers gift certificates so you can buy those kids some toys. Thanks for humiliating yourself on the biggest FM station in the state!
Mrs. Schmuck....Oh thank you(still fighting off the tears)
DJ: And who is changing it from Christmas to WKTIsmas?
Mrs. Schmuck: WKTI(wheeze and blow)
(she blubbers off while they segue into Train "Calling all you angels")

Am I the only one that sees the horror in this? That this station is displaying the tragedy that has befallen these poor people and then packaging and plastering it up on 50,000 gig watt broadcast. I feel bad enough for them but imagine having to walking into work the next day..."Hey I heard you on the radio!" If the station wants to help them out fantastic...great for them. But then to make their pain into a production element is nothing short of vampirism. Ok...I'm done venting. And now....back to the music.