Corporate Magazines Suck...
9/15/2003 11:05 AM
Kurt Cobain(voice of my generation...don't even get me started on that one). Wore a T shirt for a cover shoot for Rolling Stone that said that. And here's something I thought I'd never thought I'd say...Kurt Cobain was right. Recently, I was walking through a bookstore skimming comic books (what married, adult comic book junkies do) and wandering through the magazine racks. Came across the latest S (what I used to refer to Rolling Stone). Whom does my wandering eye find on the cover...Some controversial politico? A new Alternative band tearing up the charts? Or maybe by some miracle they finally recognize Rush and acknowledge their existence I'm convinced Geddy Lee must have peed in Jan Werner's pool at some party for the lack of recognition that magazine has given that band. But that's a rant for another day.). WHO IS ON THE COVER? (was my question for you playing Rad World the home game). Brittney F'ing Spears...Brittney "On every national magazine from coast to coast" Spears. I thought "what has happened to this magazine?". I took out my last straw an threw it away. Take my hand dear reader...were going to get in my "way back machine" and take another trip into my past. Remember that some memories may differ from the truth do to beer or that I want to make myself look cooler than I actually am. I come from roughly the nearest point center of the whitest, unhippest part of America you can find. Not only did I yearn for big city excitement...I ached for it. Physical pain, really. The only connection that I seemed to have with the Rock and Roll world outside my little farm community was Rolling Stone. After getting it I would skim, mark and then read the whole issue in matter of 2 hours. If applied myself to school this much my GPA would have been considerable higher than the low C+/B- I seemed content to possess. What need did I of grades? I was going to be a musical icon even though I had marginal talent and slightly less charisma. Not only could I keep in touch with the classic bands that I adored. But new music that was coming up. I think my politics as based somewhere walking the jagged thin line between Hunter S. Thompson and P.J. O'Rourke (smart people have initials and hyphens in their name is something I learned). Year after year it was one of the best presents I got for Christmas. I remember reading Cameron Crowe and thinking I wish I could right that well. It was my connection to being cool. I found out that most rock stars were like myself unpopular nerds growing up and if I just stuck it out I could turn that pain into cash and become the next Bowie, Byrne or Stipe. I bought bands like "The Velvet Underground" or "The Clash" because of it. Everything it offered I was interested in. I drank from its well heartily. Even the ads seemed on the edge and explosive. But sometime during that colliegate period I stopped reading it and maybe that's when it changed or I did. But now...now...Now its "US". Its Maxim with out all the good content. Jan Werner...you sir...are not alternative. You're mainstream...you've lost your street cred sir. The ads look like crap...and are the same that's found in any mag. Theres no P.J....No Hunter...just those freaky subscription cards that tumble out and fall to the floor. Fall like my golden memories of youth and Rolling Stone(ok its a shite analogy...but the post needed a 'Wonder Years' moment). Dare I say it...Its as out of touch as I am...

Brittney "no talent, Madonna sucking, crap movie making, boyfriend-dance-off," Spears.