Because I Said So...
7/30/2003 1:32 PM
Let me put on my old man pants and talk about something I have seen over the past few years in parenting. Now mind you I'm NOT a parent so I'm sure a few of you will negate what I say just because of that. But the latest trend I have seen in the world of child rearing is "the explanation" where the parent "explains" to a kid why they can't do something. They "explain" to the child why they shouldn't run up and kick a stranger in the jewels in the mall. Here the child takes a moment, makes a well reasoned judgment and then kicks the poor sap in the nads anyway. This then continues the debate..."No-no-...I didn't make myself clear you were not supposed to kick him in the jumblies."

When did this become protocol? When did child rearing become a series of UN peace talks? When I was growing up there were no "reasons"...no justifications. You just did what your parents told you. If you got a reason it was "Because I said so!” Oh okay. Now I got my share of spankings and beatings but in retrospect I didn't get enough. If I were my parents I would have smothered me by age nine. If ball busting were a job I would have been a CEO. My parents were pretty much Old Testament style parents. Where in they monitored, their judgments were swift and biblical in scale and then they moved on. Considering the constant state of war that existed between one of my sisters and myself it was a pretty good way to run the house. I constantly questioned the "why" of each situation. I never got an answer. And that seemed to be a popular method of the time because I heard it all the time. Only if the answer was so blatant did it ever warrant an answer. "Mom can I leap off the roof with an umbrella?"..."No! You'll break your fool neck!” Although permission was often requested it was seldom required. And often the reason provided was incorrect. I didn't break my fool neck...I twisted my fool knee. So you see parents aren't always right about the particulars but they are usually right about the bigger picture. Conversely then...do kids really care about the whys and why nots? I don't think so I think they only care about the dos and don'ts. At least I did. I hit the run ground running once I got the OK to shoot baskets at Keith Brewers well after dark on a summer Saturday night. I didn't want to know why I was being allowed. So here’s a little advice from me...Next time your kid says "why?" Don't hesitate "because I said so!" should be your first response. Then up the ante with "Or I'll give you something to cry about."